Meeting Themes

The following links are some of the themes that we have discussed at our meetings:

  • Seducing and Mirroring
  • Glossary of Terms
  • Gray Rock
  • Tips for 'Self Care'
  • Red Flags - See information below
  • Boundaries in Relationships

    Why Healthy Relationships Always Have Boundaries & How to Set Boundaries in Yours

    Many people assume that having boundaries means not having loving feelings toward their partner. But it’s actually the opposite.

    All healthy relationships have boundaries.

    Read the full article - Bounderies

    Local Statistics

    Did you know that in Grimsby and the North East Lincolnshire area there is a much higher than average occurrence of domestic abuse? The Office for National Statistics shows an increase of 23% in reported Domestic Abuse incidents over the last year. Both men and women can be victims, although it is much more prevalent for women to be on the receiving end.

    You may not identify yourself as being in an abusive relationship, but just know on some level that something is wrong. Some of the behaviours now identified as being abusive might be that familiar in our local society that they are ‘normalised’ by many, this does not mean that they are okay! Emotional abuse can be very subtle and is often associated with people described as narcissists or sociopaths.

    Would you know if you were in a relationship with this type of person?

    Read the full article - Red Flags of Emotional Abuse

    A New Beginning

    Escaping a perpetrator of domestic violence can take months of precision planning. You might find you have left many things behind; perhaps, you have left your entire home, your belongings and even a part of yourself. Your vision of the imminent future is uncertain and you are longing to block out the past. You may have to revert to put on a brave face, the all too familiar mask you've been wearing during your destructive time with your 'other half'.

    So what's next? You'll probably need to rebuild your life, your trust, your future and maybe even yourself.

    Strategies:

  • Realise that it's not you; it really is them! And keep reminding yourself about this.
  • Go no contact as much as possible, or at least declining the invitation to 'play' by giving little or no response - sometimes silence speaks volumes.
  • Knowledge is power: by understanding even a little bit about how the perpetrator thinks you're able to take some control the situation.
  • Put yourself first .
  • Accept that this is going to be a difficult time and give yourself a break.
  • Talk it through with people who understand. Talk it through full-stop.
  • Take steps to rebuild your self esteem.
  • Members Testimonial

    “We are survivors not victims and regardless of all that we have been through once we break free, we have been through hell and back and need the support of other survivors that's why this group is so important.

    It’s still quite frustrating that even though coercive control is now a chargeable offence, it’s so difficult to actually charge the perpetrator with this. My ex partner did this to me, and even had a history of DV they couldn’t charge him due to lack of evidence. Especially when a perpetrator is so manipulative - most “evidence” is still his word against yours.
    Meetings with you ladies have helped me deal with what my ex put me through - knowing I’m not alone.
    Having this support available to me quite quickly too was a godsend.
    The first meeting is always scary, but it’s such a welcoming group with happy faces, I soon felt at ease. Thank you to you all.

    I am having support from your group from afar as I no longer live in Grimsby but phone calls and support on this site it's really helping me feel like others understand what iv been through for the last 18 years! It is priceless to feel understood! Standing up to the abuser is the hardest thing ever because of the emotional attachment.The message needs to be put across that it's possible though: we can break free and the life after domestic abuse is so much calmer ! ”

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